What to Call Yourself After the Wedding? Here Are the Options

Do I take your last name, or do you take mine? And how will we handle it with the kids? In the time between the engagement and the wedding day, a number of questions arise—among them, there’s often a lot of discussion about who will ultimately take whose last name. We say: Thank goodness! Finally, this discussion is happening among couples. For decades, this very issue simply wasn’t on the table. The woman took the man’s last name—no questions asked. Today, however, there are all kinds of options. Sometimes this results in really funny or even melodious double-surnames. Often , though, married couples take a very pragmatic approach to the naming decision. What’s striking is that this topic leaves no one indifferent! No wonder—after all, one’s own name is tied to history and tradition. That makes it all the more exciting to hear how couples planning to marry are figuring this out for the future—or have already figured it out. We asked around:

Paul & Ariane:

Conventionally: She takes her husband's last name.

We opted for what’s currently considered the conventional approach: I took my husband’s last name. Since we also tend to follow the traditional family model and I’ve always thought his last name sounded really nice, I was fine with it. But I also understand when women want to have a double-barreled last name. In that case, neither name is more important than the other, which I think is nice, too. For me, that wasn’t an option because I didn’t like my former last name anyway.

Nicole and Andi:

Independence: The woman keeps her name. The man keeps his.

Many people don’t even know that this is possible. I kept my name, and my husband continues to use his last name. We got married late in life, and I simply felt that I’d be giving up my entire life as I’d lived it so far if I stopped using my last name. When we had children, the question arose of what their last name should be. In Austria, the rule is that one parent’s last name must be chosen ; otherwise, the mother’s last name is used. The alternative is a double-barreled last name for the children —that’s the option we chose for our children.

Carina and Richard:

The Symbiosis: A shared name for both of them.

We both have very traditional Vorarlberg names, but fortunately they’re quite short . That’s why we’ve decided to combine our two last names into a double surname after our wedding . We’re probably just very romantic at heart, but we love the idea that, as the icing on the cake of our incredibly beautiful wedding, our last names will be joined together.

John and Lisa-Marie:

(Still) Unusual: He takes her last name. The children do, too.

I’ve always been fine with my last name—I’ve enjoyed having it. But the constant questions about whether to spell it with a “y” or an “ie,” and how exactly that complicated ending is pronounced, were often a hassle. So I asked my wife if we could take her last name instead, and she was thrilled. The kids have never known it any other way, and for me, our shared last name has become our family name.

Chris & André

A Fresh Start: A New Name for Both.

Neither of us liked our previous last names. They were both difficult to spell, had to be spelled out every time we gave them over the phone, and we didn’t feel particularly attached to them either. So we decided to find a new shared last name. That made our wedding day feel even more like a fresh start. Just as we left our old names behind, we also left our old lives behind and began a new one—a life together—with a last name we chose together.

We think it doesn’t matter which option you choose—as long as everyone involved (spouses and children) is happy with it in the long run. So here’s our tip: Talk it over with each other early on! Respect each other’s last names. That way, you’re sure to find the right name for your married life!

Oh, and if you’d like to learn more about the legal options, you can check out Austria’s digital government portal.