Non-Religious Wedding Ceremonies in Austria:Susanne Schöndorfer

What does the job of a wedding speaker entail?  

Most couples start by sending me an email. If the desired date is available, I let them know my fee and what it includes. If they’re interested, we meet in person. The main goal here is to see if we click, because that’s the foundation for a truly personal ceremony. We need something like a friendly, trusting relationship, yet one grounded in professionalism. Only when people trust me am I the right person for them. I, too, must be able to say “yes” to the step the couple wants to take with me—the step into marriage. While my word has no legal weight, it always carries emotional and ethical significance.

Now that you've been selected as a speaker, what's next for you?

Once you’ve chosen me, we’ll always stay in touch. You can reach out to me with questions anytime. I’m happy to help with tips and tricks. We’ll meet again about three months before the wedding. I always look forward to that day especially, because that’s when I get to learn so much about you as a couple. Your very own love story! How it all began, when your paths first crossed, how Cupid struck, and finally, how the proposal went. That’s when I see what really matters: emotions!

So how do you go about writing your speech?

Once I have all the information, I set to work writing. I make sure my mind is clear and “organized”—I mentally immerse myself in the couple’s story, open my heart wide, and write. I tailor every speech individually, because no two couples are alike, and it is precisely this individuality in the wedding speech that is my highest priority. For me, non-religious wedding ceremonies are always a reflection of the relationship. They’re a process of “becoming aware” and a remembrance of all the milestones that two people have been able to navigate and experience together. I’m privileged to be a part of this, and it never fails to make me happy how deeply couples allow me to immerse myself in their relationship. At the same time, this is how the most moving speeches are created. 

What do you enjoy most about your job as a wedding officiant? 

The tremendous trust my couples place in me leading up to the wedding, and also the extraordinary stories I get to hear time and time again. I love that this profession allows me to express my creativity in new ways over and over again. And when I receive letters after the wedding—in which my couples put their gratitude into words—it just makes me so happy. 

Do couples come to you with specific ideas, or do you mostly provide suggestions for the wedding ceremony?

Very few couples have very specific ideas. That’s why I present my concept to my couples. During this presentation, I actively involve them so they can share their wishes and ideas—which often emerge only during our conversation—and so we can work together to incorporate these individual ideas into the structure, flow, and content of the event. 

Couples associate wedding speakers with high costs. What's your take on that? 

I keep hearing that people think a wedding officiant is expensive. But in my opinion, they’re only looking at the time it takes to deliver the speech. To create a well-coordinated ceremony, I invest about thirty hours of enjoyable work. That includes several meetings, writing the speech, and quite a bit more. Of course, the trip to the wedding venue is also part of it. And then I guide the ceremony with a great deal of empathy. So that afterward, everyone can breathe a sigh of relief—joyful and relaxed.

What advice do you give couples when choosing a wedding officiant?

Navigating through the available options can sometimes be challenging. That’s why I recommend checking whether the speaker has the appropriate training, what her experience is like, and whether she has any recommendations. And listen to your gut feeling.